Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I challenge you

You know how when someone near you yawns, you yawn. I once spent an entire hour private skating lesson yawning back and forth with my coach. (I slipped that skating thing in so you would wonder if I was a super talented figure skater or something, and I'm not going to tell you otherwise, but I can't honestly confirm that either. But remember I'm not denying it)

Anyway, I challenge you to seek out yawners and NOT yawn back. Let me know if you can do it. Seriously, I really want to know. Because I can't. A guy I work with yawned near me and I fought it. Hard, like WWII hard, and I lost. Like Hiroshima lost. I held my ground for a good minute and a half, and maybe it was just that I was focusing on it so much, but I couldn't not yawn. Very frustrating.

At this point you might be wondering to yourself, 'this frustrates her? Really? She doesn't have anything real to worry about?' Sure I do, this is my style of avoidance management. I don't need to worry about unpaid bills, dirty laundry, or making sure the kids go to bed on time, I'm busy tackling not yawning. And I'd like you to join me.

Now listen, I know there are people who read my blog and don't comment. I don't think that cuz I'm conceded or anything, although, I am a little. You've told me you read and I don't see your comments. (Thanks to those of you that do comment) But please I'm begging you share your yawning adventures with me. Please.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

What the Mek?

These people. I don't get it. They know about us.

When we introduced ourselves did we forget to mention refrigerators, microwaves, comfortable clothes, the joys of not wearing sticks on ourselves? Why do they choose to continue without toilets and television?

I know I sound really stupid about this, because it's their culture and blah, blah, blah. And most likely, last time I was in the mall, some lady at the Nordstrom make-up counter saw me and thought, 'I don't get it, we have high heels, wonderful cosmetics, and fashionable clothes she could wear, why would she go around looking so primitive?' At least I assume people like that judge me because I'm so judgemental, as you already know. Even in that last sentence - "people like that". I can't stop. So I judge the mek too.

Well, at least they don't have to worry about paying the utility and insurance bills on time. They've got that on us.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

At least they have a plan.

Roxy: Ben don't point your arrow at the window, you might hit mom.
Ben: I won't, I don't want to hurt mom.
Roxy: Yeah, but at least we'd still have dad.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

A little memory game people are playing these days...

Here are the directions:
1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!
2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty cool (and funny) to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you.

p.s. I think I'm really more interested in the bad memories, they might be funnier.

Monday, July 21, 2008

I'm not only a jerk, I'm a hypocrite too.

I judge people who let their kids drink mountain dew.

I let my kids drink mountain dew.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Kudos Brandon!

My friend Brandon at work has been smoking for quite a long time now, he has cut back and/or quit a few times. But today was different.

There he was, smoking his last cig, which he had saved, and was a big deal. And he put it out 1/2 way through. He didn't even finish it.

My money is on Brandon quitting for quits this time.

And Brandon, don't forget, what they say is NOT true. EVERYBODY likes a quitter.

*Brandon has a very funny shirt like this but it says "I want you to speak english". (Sorry Esteban, I hope I haven't offended you.)

Thursday, July 17, 2008

So that's how it's gonna be.

What do mormons use the internet for?
Well, that depends.

If you're old - geneology.
If you're a mommy - blogging.
If you're a guy - porn.

JUST KIDDING! Just kidding, geeeeez. You can be any age to do geneology.

OK, look it's really just a joke, I'm not trying to say anything about any guy I know. Seriously.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

VD anyone?

Does the blogosphere ever remind you of high school sex ed?

Let me 'splain.
"A" sleeps with "B", B already slept with "C","D","E","F","G". That means A is linked to CDEFG through B. You get it.

So, I found Holdinator through Sarah, through Holdinator I found Mediocre Gatsby, from Gatsby I found Anonymous Karimzada.

Another example:

I linked to Sara through Melody, Kim found me through Sara and she found Sara through Melody. (Or somethin' like that)
It goes on and on.

Whoa. Anyone else suddenly feel like a keyboard slut?

Maybe we'd all feel better about the whole thing if we used a nice wholesome family tree analogy.

*Whoever ID's this family wins.

**The prize is personal satisfaction (and embarrassment for knowing the answer).

Monday, July 14, 2008

I need some advice

I really appreciate when you leave comments. Actually, it's more than that, I love it. (If you love comments so much why don't you marry them. I would if I wasn't already married; well, I mean if comments was interested. You know.) Sorry, I have a bad habit of interupting people, even myself.
Back to the point. Comments. Often I want to comment back to your comments, but I think, well, they already commented, they don't love me so much that they are going to check back to my comments again, just in case there's more of me. So I don't comment on your comments, since you won't even know. However, I noticed some people do comment in their comments on other people's comments. How do I know? I check back, you know, cuz I'm obsessed with you all and stuff.
So my question is, do you think it would be better if I comment back on my own comment page thingy, or should I email you, or comment on one of your posts?
Tell me what to do.

Friday, July 11, 2008

What do you have?

I have a parking fairy.

That's right a parking fairy. Bluebell.

Bluebell is the best, I get good parking spots all over the place, at the mall during Christmas, at the Provo parade, and yes, even at Walmart. (How do you think I gained all this weight? I never have to walk through parking lots.)

When Blaine and I first got married he kinda hated Bluebell cause he thought it was blasphemy. You see, when you get to the parking lot you start calling for Bluebell, then when she appears in the form of a the-parking-spot-to-die-for, you thank her. This is the most important part. Bluebell works on thanks alone, you stop thanking, you start walking. It made Blaine uncomfortable for me to "pray to a fairy for help then give thanks". Whatever. I park close, he walks. But he's coming around. When you see miracle after miracle, you have to believe.

So try her out. Or don't and leave the good spots for me.

(I have to give props to my BF Suzanne for sharing the secret of the Bluebell. I hope you don't mind I let the secret out. (oh, and props to Nan too.) I think Nan would enjoy the site of my kids chanting Bluebell, Bluebell, every time we drive to Walmart.)

P.S. she does not help make parallel parking any easier. Sad.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

I know it's totally lame

to suddenly stop thinking of my own posts and just linking to other ones I like.

But this you have got to see.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008


This is funny


So have you ever noticed when people have been looking for something and find it they say

"Yeah, it was like, in the last place I looked."

Really, you didn't look in a couple more places after you found it?


Monday, July 7, 2008


Today Blaine came home with the BEST NEWS EVER.
Nope, no lottery.
We aren't going on vacation to Disneyland or Hawaii.
Ben did not get discovered for a major movie deal allowing us to live a glamorous Hollywood lifestyle. Stealing all his hard earned profits so later he can sue us and seek a parental divorce.

Something even better.

We're getting rid of the hamster.

Anyone who's ever had a hamster (and successfully gotten rid of it) is celebrating with me. Anyone who still has a hamster is loathing me, jealousy threatening to take over their entire existence. And anyone who has never had a hamster; just wait someone will offer you a free one someday.

See ya never stinky

Sunday, July 6, 2008

It's nice to have you back

So I mentioned I hate living in Arizona, right?
I went temporarily insane when I was there. It was too hot for hair.

Late June/early July 2007

One year later...

Thursday, July 3, 2008

The sweetest sweetness that ever was...Roxy.

Last night Roxy was snuggling with me in my chair and she said 'you're so pretty mom'. I told her she didn't have to say that just because I'm her mom, if she didn't think I was pretty that's OK. But she insisted I'm pretty. I didn't really believe she thought that because she talks about my zits so much. When I expressed that to her she gently put her hand on my cheek and said -

"You're prettier than you think you are mom".

And I cried.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

It makes me so mad

Today at lunch I ran over to Walmart. When I got out of my car there was a little boy about 4yrs old near my car. No mom in sight. When I asked him where his mom was he pointed the other direction and started walking over there. So I followed him, I needed to make sure he got back to a responsible gaurdian.

FOUR rows away we found his mom. She was sitting in her SUV with the door open talking on her cell phone.

She didn't even know he had wandered off.

It made me feel really good to return him to his responsible gaurdian.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

O Canada!

What I miss most in Canada:

Bruce, Christine, Taylor and my Grandma.
Sorry, no picture.


And of course Waterton!


Heck is for people that don't believe in gosh