My bother Roger is a warlock, he was born on Halloween hundreds of years ago. (I can't remember how old he is). He might be a little freaky, he might not have a blog, (I know, right!) and he might refuse to comment on my blog, but he is still a great brother. He is always there when I need him. Thanks Roger and happy birthday!
This post brought to you ! and ( )
Friday, October 31, 2008
Posted by TJ at 4:01 PM
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
I don't know about you, but if I am going to stuff items into my bra, I reach in from the top.
Posted by TJ at 1:54 PM
Monday, October 27, 2008
So Roxy and I are having a contest to see who's pumpkin is cuter. She insists my pumpkin is cuter and I insist hers is. So in today's democratic atmosphere, we concluded the only way to true resolution was a public vote.
Option 1: cute cat thingy
Option 2: ghost
We used patterns and technically I carved both of them, but her hand rested on top of mine while we did hers. In an effort for true bipartisan results, I'm not disclosing who's pumpkin is who's.
But I still say hers is cuter.
So please vote, it is your public duty.
Posted by TJ at 9:32 PM
Last night I dreamt about what I should write about. It wasn't a sparkling dude or anything, but still, isn't that a sign that I should have lots of money?
I dreamt some kids labelling everything in my house in braille with puff paint. It wasn't like a braille vision or anything like that, but braille has been on my mind a lot lately. Why? I don't know.
But have you noticed the strange places they put braille?
It's one thing to have blind folk driving around using ATMs and reading braille street signs, but a braille tattoo. I think that's going just a little too far.
Posted by TJ at 9:31 AM
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
So this guy came in for service the other day in his new convertible. You'll never guess what he was blasting on his cd player.
The Top Gun soundtrack.
Is it just me, or does that say one of two things? a) mid-life crisis, or b) small parts syndrome? Maybe both?
Posted by TJ at 7:55 PM
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Sat Oct 25th (eve)
Fri Oct 31
Sat nov 1 (eve)
Posted by TJ at 7:56 AM
Friday, October 17, 2008
7 People I tag
Posted by TJ at 10:34 AM
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Posted by TJ at 7:55 AM
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Bella wanted Edward to turn her into a vampire so she would quit getting her period.
Posted by TJ at 2:16 PM
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
*This morning, as I was taking 9 minute snoozes for about an hour, I was sort of dreaming. The format of my dream was posts and comments.
*On Saturday I went to lunch with a group of strangers off the Internet who all know stuff about each other. Weird right? It was way out of my comfort zone so I talked Blaine into going with me, which wasn't that hard, cuz what guy doesn't want to have lunch with a dozen chicks from the web? We ended up needing to bring the kids with us, which I was really worried about since I think it was kind of a no kids thing. Luckily, our kids are pretty awesome and I don't think they disturbed anyone too much. And like the rest of us, they really looooved Mary. The best part of having my whole family there while I met strange Internet people, was it was like having my comfort blanket with me. And after we ate, I pretended Roxy needed to go potty, but really I just needed to go clean out my braces. I knew she'd come in useful someday.
*When I was a kid I wanted an imaginary friend but wasn't really creative enough to make one up. Now I have like 30 imaginary friends. It's awesome!
Posted by TJ at 7:59 AM
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Listen, I'm a good girl. But today I went to Wal-mart. As I was leaving the old lady greeter person was friendly as usual.
"Thank you for shopping at Wal-mart on this fine Sabbath Day."
LOOK, I'M SORRY YOU HAVE TO WORK TODAY, BUT WHEN A GIRL NEEDS CAFFEINE AND CHOCOLATE, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT DAY OF THE WEEK IT IS. I yelled back at her in my head.
Posted by TJ at 3:28 PM
Friday, October 10, 2008
That's right, David Palmer.
Think about it, he's already got great experience and his moral values are unbeatable. Under pressure he can quickly make a good decision. He survived several assassination attempts, won several battles against terrorists, faced nuclear bomb threats, fought the oil companies and even suffered personally from a deadly terrorist virus. As if that's not enough, his own administration had him overthrown, only to realize later that he had done no wrong, of course, and reinstated him. And all that took him what, three days?
Plus, don't even get me started on his wife, anyone who could deal with that beast could easily rule the free world.
Too bad he was shot in the neck and killed.
Just look how good he looks at a press conference.
Posted by TJ at 2:22 PM
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Yesterday when I went home from work early I stopped by Wal-hell and bought myself chocolate pudding and chocolate ice cream.
Today every little thing is pissing me off BIG time.
Wonder what that could mean...
Posted by TJ at 2:31 PM
My coworker finally came back into town, so yesterday I was able to leave work early. I headed straight for my bed, (right after getting some double choc. brownie ice cream) and gave it the attention and comfort it needed.
I really have nothing else to blog about though, I've been super lame about coming up with my own ideas. But upon Suzanne's recommendation, I have spent hours reading jurlpower, and love it, especially her stages of sex. So, if you've come over here looking for entertainment, let me redirect you to jurl.
Posted by TJ at 9:17 AM
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
My bed has massive attachment issues. This morning it really didn't want me to go. And quite honestly, it broke my heart to leave it.
Posted by TJ at 9:30 AM
Monday, October 6, 2008
Introducing Suzanne, she's finally pulling some of her blog weight. And with a funny story too.By the way, do you like the way the title makes it sound like she won a contest, rather than me begging her to post for me?
i should give a tiny bit of background. kimba is the nickname of our professional photographer friend. she had already rescheduled our family pictures 3 times and dragged it out almost 2 months before this typical day at the nelson's. calder calls it getting my hair "painted" when i get it highlighted. for those who don't know me, my daughter was born with a birth defect. one of the symptoms was that she had several cysts on her face when she was born. she had them removed when she was 6 months old. she is a doll. she has several tiny scars though. we had one of the best plastic surgeons in utah do the surgery. i wrote this reply to a friend's message to me. she was wondering how my week had been. enjoy. (i've also included some pictures so that you know i'm not making this up)
"the week has been fine. i got my hair "painted"blond again on monday morning for our family pictures that night. unfortunately, it was so cold and windy that kimba decided that we shouldn't do it. i commented to her that it had been a miracle that calder and hillary were still bruise and scratch free and i hoped it would last another week so we could reschedule.
defeated in family pictures, i decided to tackle calder's potty issue that night instead. when i noticed him hiding under the table to poop, i whisked him to the bathroom and took his diaper from him. after 35 minutes and a dozen books, he said that he didn't need to go anymore. unrelenting, i told him that he couldn't have his diaper back. he was to go bottomless until he could poop in the toilet. i told him that his other option was to go outside like winney (our dog). ten minutes later, he asked me to take him out. that same bitter cold and wind that cancelled the family pictures was still happening. calder squatted, but kept saying that he was too cold to poop. honestly, i never thought he would even consider doing it outside. thankfully the weather kept him from it.
so we go inside and i start making dinner. i notice him crouched under the table and i ask what he's doing and he says that he is pooping, so i tell him to run to the potty. unfortunately, he didn't make it.
his comment, "mom, my plop didn't go in the plopper, it went on the wood floor."
nice... i scream for cameron (who refused to have any part in my bizarre potty training technique, other than taking a picture of us standing in the freezing, windy yard) to corral the children and dog in another room while i disinfect. 20 minutes later they begin to trickle back in, calder first. hillary is bawling and cameron is holding her head. he moves his hand to tell me that she fell down in the hall and i see blood everywhere. i calmly say, "dear, there's blood. take her in the bathroom." so, there is this perfect specimen of puncture wound on her forehead. i can see that it will need to be stitched and since that's not my bag i declare that we must go to the er. funny thing is hillary is wearing nothing but a long-sleeved onesie covered in blood and strawberry juice. calder, who for some reason has now donned big boy underwear, is in a t-shirt and tennis shoes with no socks. cameron is still in his dry clean only duds from work. i put a pull-up over calder's unders and then get him dressed. hillary couldn't be salvaged because i didn't want to put anything over her head and upset the wound. i'm sure we looked pretty good strolling into the alta view er.
hillary got the liquid stitches that is like superglue. she will have a scar, but she's down with that since she already has 10 others on her face! anyway,the glue will flake off in 10-12 days. i promised to come back in 48 hours and keep track of signs of infection.
we go home.
calder goes to bed.
hillary cries but goes to sleep soon enough.
2:30am she has a fever of 103+. she won't take medicine.
cry, cry, cry.
we all fall asleep from exhaustion.
i get up at 6 to check her.
she's burning hot and crying again. i find the info from the er regarding infection.
no redness, swelling, oozing. only high fever. decide not to go back until the 48hours happen. spend the entire day trying to comfort, cool and hydrate hillary, while loading barney videos into the vcr for calder.
wendy's for dinner.
wed am, after another sleepless night and more fever, i take her back to alta view er.they say that she looks great, but she has an ear infection! bless it.
anyway, now i have a kid who poops on my floor and one scarface who can't possibly be photographed this month. what do you think the chances are that once hillary heals, i can keep them bruise and scratch free for another 2 weeks while i wait to get our picture appointment? and, by then my hair roots will have to be painted again! the week has been good. thanks for asking."
Ah Suzanne, you're hilarious, and have a beautiful family. Thanks so much for doing this for me. You've always been there for me when I need you. Now seriously, get your own blog, so I can read it.
Christine and Roger, I still need posts from each of you.
Posted by TJ at 7:30 AM
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Lately, I've been pretty busy at work which leaves me little time to blog. It also drains all the blogging creativity out of me. So I decided I need someone to write me a really funny guest post. I know that's not the way it normally works, but that just makes it even better.
So, if you want to write something really funny for me, let me know. It's not enough that I expect you to entertain me on your blog, now I want you to entertain me on my blog too. I know, right.
*If you don't have a blog, you should definitely nominate yourself, cuz lets face it, you're not pulling your blog weight. (Suzanne)
Posted by TJ at 1:31 PM