Well, last night Ben found the Christmas presents that I have bought so far this year.
Great. They were from Santa.
I've been wrestling with when to tell the kids anyway. I love the magical spirit of Santa. I love the mystery and the traditions that go along with Santa. Get me right, we FOCUS on Christ, but the Santa part is fun too.
I remember I found out in Grade 2. The other kids were saying Santa isn't real, that it's our parents. The outrage! The blasphemy! I couldn't believe the out and out lies these kids were spewing. Santa would know and they wouldn't get any presents! I defended his honor with all my soul. I knew my parents wouldn't lie to me.
Then I got home from school and my perfect world where you can hear hooves on the roof crashed all around me. I was betrayed, by my own parents. No Santa, my folks were liars, who could I trust, there was no one to turn to. (I believe all my future relationships have suffered this mistrust) I resolved then and there, to never do that to my own kids.
So last night we ended Ben's childhood. Between his finding the presents and him getting up there in years, I knew it was time. He was so sweet, he immediately said, "well then, I got what I wanted for Christmas, to met the real Santa- you guys" Then he quickly realized WE spent the money on his presents. It was sad and touching all at once. He was so grateful, he started listing off all the presents he's gotten that seemed expensive to him. I don't think he'll ever ask for anything big again. I hate that. No more magic. The whole time we talked, his eyes were watery, it broke my heart, but I'm glad he heard it from us instead of his friends. (You'd think this blog was about sex or drugs)
We agreed that Roxy should still think Santa is real, Ben is excited to be in on it with us. This morning I suggested something he should ask Santa for and winked at him, he loved it. I guess I'll just have to enjoy the magic with Roxy while it lasts, I'll be sad when no one in our house tries to hear hooves on the roof anymore.