Good luck with that

overheard in the car

2010-03-31T21:28:00.000-07:00

Roxy: Does anybody have a blowtorch?

Ben: A blowtorch? You do know they blow fire.

Roxy: Oh. Well does anybody have a stick then.

I can bite my fingernails!

2010-02-18T19:26:00.000-08:00

Remember these:

Remember my before:

BEHOLD:

**** look how great my arch is when I bite my bread. (did that sound dirty?)

A little less magic at our house

2009-11-19T07:51:00.000-08:00

Well, last night Ben found the Christmas presents that I have bought so far this year.

Great. They were from Santa.

I've been wrestling with when to tell the kids anyway. I love the magical spirit of Santa. I love the mystery and the traditions that go along with Santa. Get me right, we FOCUS on Christ, but the Santa part is fun too.

I remember I found out in Grade 2. The other kids were saying Santa isn't real, that it's our parents. The outrage! The blasphemy! I couldn't believe the out and out lies these kids were spewing. Santa would know and they wouldn't get any presents! I defended his honor with all my soul. I knew my parents wouldn't lie to me.

Then I got home from school and my perfect world where you can hear hooves on the roof crashed all around me. I was betrayed, by my own parents. No Santa, my folks were liars, who could I trust, there was no one to turn to. (I believe all my future relationships have suffered this mistrust) I resolved then and there, to never do that to my own kids.

So last night we ended Ben's childhood. Between his finding the presents and him getting up there in years, I knew it was time. He was so sweet, he immediately said, "well then, I got what I wanted for Christmas, to met the real Santa- you guys" Then he quickly realized WE spent the money on his presents. It was sad and touching all at once. He was so grateful, he started listing off all the presents he's gotten that seemed expensive to him. I don't think he'll ever ask for anything big again. I hate that. No more magic. The whole time we talked, his eyes were watery, it broke my heart, but I'm glad he heard it from us instead of his friends. (You'd think this blog was about sex or drugs)

We agreed that Roxy should still think Santa is real, Ben is excited to be in on it with us. This morning I suggested something he should ask Santa for and winked at him, he loved it. I guess I'll just have to enjoy the magic with Roxy while it lasts, I'll be sad when no one in our house tries to hear hooves on the roof anymore.

Maybe I should have studied harder in math...

2009-11-06T17:08:00.003-08:00

apparently, I don't understand percentages or something. When you rent a t.v. series on dvd, each episode is 42 minutes long, that means on t.v., there are what, 18 minutes of ads every hour.

Here's the part I don't understand. When you are flipping though the channels to find something to watch, it's all ads. Shouldn't you land the show more often?

poor, poor, tortured girl

2009-10-29T15:58:00.001-07:00

Yesterday Roxy had to go to the hospital to have some dental work done under general anesthesia. It was sad to see her so scared and confused when she was waking up. But other than that there were some funny moments.

The night before, she was in the bathroom talking to herself, making a checklist of things going to happen the next day.

"wake up, check.

get dressed, check

go to the hospital, check

get tortured, check"

No lie, she had the calmest voice- just a list of things to get done.

Lovin' being outside

2009-10-24T09:42:00.001-07:00

This is my sister April with her cute little guy, Tyson. Yesterday we went to Gardner Village, it was so cute with all the witches, but it was so crowded, we weren't the only ones with the good idea to go.

I love that kid.

I love this picture. Roxy needed to do her reading homework and Ben volunteered to help her. (Notice Roxy's mismatched shoes, she is such a gypsy.)

Try not to notice our messy back yard.

Look at their expressions!

2009-10-17T13:48:00.000-07:00

a little strong

2009-10-13T20:56:00.000-07:00

This is one of the walls in my craft room. It's a little much for most people, but I like it.

My backyard...

2009-09-30T11:55:00.000-07:00

is very peaceful.

I just barely stepped out my back door to take this, I really like where I live.

The Killers = The Victim

2009-09-27T22:53:00.000-07:00

Brandon Flowers on stage right behind me!!!!!

I know in some circles it isn't "cool" to like "radio music", (that's right Bigger Ben, I'm talkin' about you) but I don't care. The Killers are my favorite band since New Kids on the Block.

I'm just braggin' here, but look how close we were to the stage. There were only three people between us and the railing.

Seriously, look how close we are!

I might watch to much CSI, because the whole time I just kept thinking, I am covered in other peoples' DNA. (Is that the right kind of apostrophe on people? Is peoples a word?) The other thing I kept thinking was, I am WAY to old for this. We were standing up for like 5 hours straight. And people kept smashing into me. I swear I had so much body contact with strangers, I think I ought to get checked for an STD. At the very least I must've come away with the swine flu. Doctors would be smart to set up clinics outside venues.

Probably the funniest thing that happened all night was this teenage boy, who was there with his mom, was trying to complain to the security gaurds that the people behind him were swearing and calling him mean words and it was really hurting his feelings. He actually said that he might start crying if they don't start being nicer to him. And he looked like he might start crying. The security gaurd told him, you are at a concert, that kind of behavior is OK. I couldn't help but want to ridicule him at the same time as feel sorry for him, and his mommy.

Thief

2009-09-18T14:06:00.000-07:00

I wasn't lying, I do intend to start blogging again, but we just moved and don't have internet yet.

Right now I'm sitting in the parking lot of my kids school stealing WiFi.

Hopefully we'll get connected soon.

Is she really here?

2009-08-29T17:31:00.000-07:00

Today I tried to convince Roxy that she is not real. That after I had Ben, I really wanted a daughter too, so I imagined her. I told her everything about her only exists in my head. Everything; school, her room, having friends, all of it is only pretend to me.

She didn't buy it for one second. Instead she made alien sounds and said, "did that sound like something your imagination could have made up?"

I had to concede, it did not.

Is it wrong to try to mess with your kid on such a deep mental level?

I miss you guys....

2009-08-12T23:20:00.000-07:00

So I think I might come back when school starts back up.

I hope you're still there.

April Fools Day

2009-04-01T09:34:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's still snowing. I bet Mother Nature thinks she's pretty funny.

The real reason for this post is so the awful memory of my doc visit won't be at the top anymore.

I should have a least gotten a free dinner

2009-03-30T14:32:00.000-07:00

So I just got back from the doctors and I feel a little like I should file a police report.

But then they'd do a rape kit.

I shoulda been a librarian

2009-03-30T07:04:00.000-07:00

We accidentally scheduled our cruise during spring break. Turns out, I'm not really a "party" girl. I spent a lot of time trying to avoid areas of the ship that smelled like liquor.

This was some of the milder nudity...

Aren't we a cute couple? We celebrated our 9th anniversary on this trip. Love ya babe. (we should have just skipped year seven)It was mostly cold, no laying out on the deck for me. In this picture I'm wearing pants, a hoodie, drinking hot and still freezing.

We hadn't really planned on going to formal dining night, but we were there with all Blaine's family and changed our mind at the last minute. We had to improve on the formal. We looked ridiculous, but had fun. Our cruise went to Ensanada, here is a obligatory group pic in Mexico.

Despite it being a little cold and little too partyish for this old prude, we had a great time. It was so nice to have no schedule and sleep whenever I wanted to. Those interior staterooms are nice and dark any time of day.

Oh, and then I got layed off.

While I was gone, they decided to close the dealership I work at. The most awesome part was they didn't even call me. My sister did. She is married to our cashiers brother, that's how she knew, then an hour later my mom called and told me. She received a letter in the mail notifying her because she is a local Saturn owner. Nice huh, hearing it twice from other people before my own boss tells me. I was only gone for three days before everyone but me knew.

So here's to laying around at Seven Peaks Water park with the kids all summer.

I got my husband to watch Twilight

2009-03-28T08:09:00.000-07:00

and he wondered if it is harder for Edward to be around Bella when she's menstruating.

I'm back

2009-03-23T18:34:00.000-07:00

from Mexico.

Sort of. I'm now in Mesa visiting in laws.

More to come in a few days.

Snuggie News

2009-03-13T20:45:00.000-07:00

This is for you Kristina

Who's lookin'

2009-03-10T08:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I did something very foolish, something I know is very bad for me. But it was for the sake of vanity.

But everyone knows anything is OK for vanity.

I went tanning.

And yes, I was naked. (I didn't plan ahead and bring a swim suit, sorry, I know it's gross to put your bare parts on the bed, just tell yourself they clean them between each use)

I got just a teensy bit burned on my stomach. And by teensy bit I do mean I look like I faced nuclear testing.

Have you ever heard fat burns faster. Yeah, that's true.

Anyway, as a form of cheap entertainment, I was letting the kids press on my stomach and see the white fingerprints that were left behind. I know, best mom ever, right? It didn't take long for Ben to realize in a modest swimsuit your stomach does not get burned, so what was I wearing, a bikini. Note: to my kids bikini = Satan.

Naturally, I couldn't tell them no, I was not wearing a bikini, I was naked, so I just brushed it off saying, it doesn't matter what I was wearing I was all alone in a little room. No one could see me. (And I really, really hope that's true, you know what you hear about those places.)

Roxy immediately replied, "Yeah, that's true, no one could see you....EXCEPT Jesus and Santa.

It's gonna be a bright sun shiny day

2009-03-09T07:28:00.000-07:00

That damn daylight savings wouldn't let me go to sleep last night.

Meet Tyson

2009-03-07T07:43:00.001-08:00

My sister April's baby was born just fine last Friday, I'm just a little slow.

We are so excited about this little guy. He is so sweet to hold, I am seriously addicted to him.

I must be, because last night I dreamt I wanted one. Yikes!

(We are totally done having kids)

The secret

2009-03-05T07:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was at my kids elementary school when the principal made his daily announcements. Part of it included a quote; I wasn't listening well enough to remember who said it.

"The secret joy of work is excellence."

I really do believe that, in fact most the time, it's the ONLY joy in work.

Parade of coveting

2009-02-27T08:53:00.000-08:00

Last weekend we went to the St. George Parade of homes, other wise known as the Parade of I hate-our-small-townhouse.

Check out the view, you can kinda see it in the reflection.

This house had a soda machine.

And an ice cream bar.

On the left side of this picture you enter a tunnel under that building at the back of the poolAnd you find this hot tub,

if you continue through a tunnel, you find this, which is in the opening you can see on the right side of the above picture.

This is in the basement, along with a full work out gym, putting green,

basketball court, with a 218 " screen on the wall,

and racket ball court. Yeah, that's just the basement.

The cute boy that's an extra here is Beckham. His dad is Blaine's cousin. They live in St. George and so we gave him a ride back to his house. Along the way we told him we were lost and could he tell how to get to his house.

His reply was just follow the arrows.

And yes, he did mean the turn signals on my car.

Is that genius or what! After all, they've never failed him before.

Later, we went hiking in Snow Canyon, it was just beautiful, as always.

This really didn't seem dangerous at the time, but the picture sure makes it look a little scary.

And my most exciting news is: right now my little sister April is in the hospital trying to get a kid out of her.

It started with a sucker...

2009-02-11T13:44:00.000-08:00

Today one of my mom's cousin's daughters, (does that make us second cousins?) came to my work. She was nice enough to bring me one of those delicious See's candies suckers. They are so creamy and wonderful. It was worth noting because she was with her mom and her mom looks like a feminine, very beautiful version of my grandpa, who died a few years ago. And my grandpa loved See's candy and often gave us those same suckers.

So I started thinking about that and what a nice memory of him it is and how some of my younger siblings don't know that about him because they were too young when he died. (run-on sentence much?) Anyway, I was thinking how sad it is they missed out on that and then it occurred to me, what did I miss out on, that I'm not even aware of?

And I decided to try to not miss out on anything else with the family and friends that I still have and love.

Best husband evah!

2009-02-04T07:21:00.000-08:00

My sweet Blaine does all the things I hate doing for me.

Like buy my bras.
Brings them home to me.
Returns the ones I don't want.

See, I told you, best evah!

I like it.

2009-02-01T15:38:00.001-08:00

You know those magazines that sell shirts with funny sayings, miniature golf for the office and various other gifts? Well, I was looking through one once and saw a poster with this on it:

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid broadside, totally worn out and proclaiming, 'WOW WHAT A RIDE!'

It made me want to get up off the couch and DO something.

I didn't, but I thought about it.

Where do they go?

2009-01-28T07:39:00.000-08:00

You know how people release balloons? I've never found one, with or without a message on it.

Have you ever found one?

This guy should get an award

2009-01-23T07:06:00.000-08:00

Last night I was watching the local ABC news. Of course there was a story on air pollution. Not only is it unhealthy, I also think it's embarrassing that Utah has so many cities in the top 5 worst air category.

But don't despair.

The government is paying someone to drive around and look for air polluters. He gives tickets to people who are using their fireplaces on red burn days.

He drives around!

Hey government, here's and idea that isn't counter productive: a call in hot line. No driving required.

Hubba, hubba

2009-01-20T07:02:00.000-08:00

We went to see the Curious case of Benjamin Button the other night.

It's a good thing they kept making Brad Pitt hotter and hotter as the movie went on, otherwise, I couldn't have endured the length of the movie.

I guess I'll just keep on goin'

2009-01-17T20:40:00.000-08:00

In an effort to get the TV turned off, I bought the chic-a-dees puzzles. Shortly after starting, Roxy commented that it is nice to spend quality time as a family. Of course, now that my blog is dedicated to Roxy quotes I considered blogging that, and ultimately deemed it cute- but not enough on it's own.

Ben was progressing on his puzzle a bit faster than Roxy, and commented to that effect.

Now comes the part worthly of the blog....

"Ben stop showboating!"

While we're at it...

2009-01-17T07:18:00.000-08:00

here's a couple more funny things Roxy has said lately.

Blaine is getting braces next week. (His desire to be like me is overwhelming) I was joking with the kids and said "what if, when Dad and I kiss, our braces get stuck together?"

Roxy immediately replied with a laugh, "You guys will have to decide whose work you'll go to. Ha ha ha."
___________________________________________________________________

Last night Blaine and I went out on a date, when we got back Roxy was in bed, but awake. So I invited her into my room to talk and snuggle. I asked her if there was anything special about the babysitter she wanted to tell me about. I was totally fishing for dirt to see if she is a good sitter; turns out she is. Although, I was nervous for a fraction of a second when Roxy said there was something she wanted to tell me about her.

"Kind of a lot, she says 'wow' about things that aren't that impressive."

People, she's FIVE.

Maybe this totally makes me a typical "mommy blogger", but still, I love the funny things she says.

Is it that bad?

2009-01-16T06:54:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I overheard Roxy playing with her Polly pocket dolls, it was the wedding of the century....

"Do you take this man to be your awful wedded husband?"

Back away from the car, with your hands where I can see them

2009-01-12T09:06:00.001-08:00

Nothing abnormal here...
but wait, look a little closer....

In case you can't read that, it says "prop rod".

Now, I'm just sayin', but if you need instructions for the prop rod, what can you possibly expect to accomplish once the hood is opened?

Do you know how to use a wicket?

2009-01-06T20:37:00.000-08:00

This is Melissa, she is likes the taste of snow. She thinks it tastes like pollution.

We went to Sundance yesterday and the ticket girl was asking everyone if they knew how to use a wicket. Who knew that was what they are called?

Five things I learned yesterday:
1. The word wicket.
2. Melissa likes smog.
3. When the signs says, 'chains or 4 wheel drive', they mean it.
4. I'm old. It's been 33 years since I was born, but I'm pretty sure if I did one of those actual age tests, I'd come out about 65. I seriously should have gotten a senior discount ticket.
5. I'm really, really out of shape. Turns out, it's important to be able to reach your feet when trying to undo your bindings.

One thing I already knew, but was reminded of yesterday:
1. Melissa is one of the funnest friends I have. Thanks for the good time Grandma Nita.

Here I am

2009-01-02T07:02:00.000-08:00

So I've decided to be back. I was just checking if any of you were still around with that last post and was surprised to see you are. I guess google reader is probably my new best friend.

I've had a nice time while I was away. Since my blogcation post we've had Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. Holy smokes, am I ever a cheater for not blogging all that comes with the holidays. I'm not even going to fill in the details with all the cheer I've been having. But don't despair, it's not due to lack of love, just laziness.

One of the main reasons I took a break from blogging is I was beginning to let it bog me down.

Blog bog.

I'm like some sort of massive internal pressure cooker machine and convinced myself the purpose of my blog is to entertain other people. Well, I'm just not that funny, pretty funny, but not that funny, so I cracked under the pressure I put myself under. It was time for a DTR between myself and my blog.

Now that I understand our relationship, I'm willing to continue with it. I will write what I want, when I want, and I hope to entertain you along the way occasionally. But I don't care if I don't. *By the way, even though I assume no responsibility to entertain those who read my blog, I still expect you to entertain me with yours.

Why

2008-12-30T23:08:00.000-08:00

Why would I want to post something new when I got my record number of comments with my blogcation post.

Blogcation

2008-11-21T08:08:00.001-08:00

I'm feeling a generally overwhelmed right now and in an effort to simply my life, I'll be taking a brief blogcation.

I will however continue to stalk your blogs to keep me entertained. I just don't have it in me to contribute right now.

The truth

2008-11-19T10:25:00.000-08:00

When is a good time to tell your kids the wonderful truth about Santa. I remember hearing about it at school in second grade. I denied it fervently. When my parents finally told me the truth I was a little mad at them, they had let me make a fool of myself defending a lie. I don't want to wait too long with my kids and have them feel the same thing. But I also don't want to take away the magic too soon.

Any thoughts?

Sometimes I wonder

2008-11-17T11:51:00.000-08:00

if my kids have any I idea that Blaine and I don't know what we're doing. Seriously, I'm the mom?

Happy Birthday Blaine!

2008-11-14T09:07:00.000-08:00

Today is an important landmark in the blogoshere. It is my 100th post. Woweee. And it just so happens that Blaine's birthday was yesterday. So I get to dedicate this very important post to him.

When we were first married, we took this picture of ourselves.

It has been a favorite of ours for a long time. So when we recently went to take family pictures, again at a train, we decided we should try to recreate it. This is the result:

If you zoom in, you can see that we have grown tenfold. There is so much more of us to love. We have been through many ups and downs over the years, and ate our way through it. But here we are together. Hip hip hooray, and happy birthday. I love you Blaine.

The wisdom and violence of a child

2008-11-12T13:21:00.000-08:00

This morning as I was leaving for work, I asked Benji if he knows how much I love him. He thought about it for maybe three seconds and responded:

"Enough to blow up the whole world, without killing anyone"

So yeah, I guess he knows.

Alvin and Bootsy

2008-11-11T08:09:00.000-08:00

Oh, how I love the movie Savannah Smiles. I remember watching it on satellite as a kid and just crying and crying. Back then, it defined tragedy to me as much as Romeo and Juliet does now. If you've never seen it, you should rent it.

*Beware it is from the early eighties and might have been low budget even then. It is a little hard to find, but I checked it out from my local library last night, so you might find it at yours.

On another note, I loooove me some Cadbury mini-eggs, I know everyone says that, but I REALLY, REALLY DO. At Christmas they repackage them as just Christmas chocolate balls and they are different colored, but basically the same thing.

You combine mini-eggs and Savannah Smiles and you've got what I did last night. Really, does it get any better? I submit, it does not. Oh yeah, I was also sitting under my electric blanket while enjoying those two pleasures. So you're with me right?

Me and Calvin both

2008-11-10T13:56:00.000-08:00

No Dignity Friday Returns!

2008-11-07T07:32:00.001-08:00

It's been awhile since I did a no dignity Friday, so I figured it was time. This post is very loosely based on a tag from Loralee about high school. I'm not actually doing the tag, I'm just going to show you embarrassing pictures from high school. That's a fair trade, right?

This is, or was, my most guarded secret. I was a cheerleader in High School. Yep, that's me with the bad form up in the air.

Now for a real gem, this is a picture of me in my graduation dress. I went to a very, very small school (200 kids, k-12, all in one building) and we didn't really have prom, instead we got all dressed up for graduation and had a dance after. No caps and gowns.

I graduated in 1993, so yes, it was OK for me to wear those white nylons with my puffy sleeves. And if you look closely, you can see my lace shoes are dyed to match my dress. Fancy.

So that ought to do it, you can start making fun of me in the comments now.

Happy Birthday Suzanne

2008-11-04T09:47:00.001-08:00

Good girlfriends are hard to come by. You know how girls can be, catty, judgemental, even bitchy. But when you find one who is all that and you still like her, and she still likes you when you are those things, you've got a good girlfriend.

Sue thanks for being my friend. (I know how you like it cheesy)

I know it's hard to see, but it is a cross stitch Suzanne made me in 1995 for my birthday. That was such a wonderful summer for me. The cross stitch says "Whatever the struggle continue the climb, it may be only one step to the summit with a friend behind."

We have been to the summits and valleys together. Happy Birthday!

I'm way behind.

2008-11-03T17:14:00.000-08:00

I was so lame, I couldn't even find my camera on Halloween, luckily, we took pictures of ourselves the weekend before when we all got dressed for our church party. So here is my obligitory post showing our costumes.

Disclaimer: No, my seven year old did not watch The Dark Knight, but he insisted on being the joker. Insisted. Could have died if he was not the joker. It is VERY important to me everyone know I did not let him watch the movie.

I have to admit, I'm a pretty hot Velma. Roxy is Daphne, she is convinced no one will know if we don't tell them.

I copied my costume after this photo, how'd I do?
p.s. don't google images of velma, you get very disturbing cartoon porn. Please just trust me on this.

*Ramona, this is for you: Unfortunatly, I couldn't find my camera on Halloween, fortunatly, we already had pics in our costumes.
Fortunatly, unfortunatly is ALWAYS on my mind now. Thanks for that.

Happy Birthday Roger!

2008-10-31T16:01:00.000-07:00

My bother Roger is a warlock, he was born on Halloween hundreds of years ago. (I can't remember how old he is). He might be a little freaky, he might not have a blog, (I know, right!) and he might refuse to comment on my blog, but he is still a great brother. He is always there when I need him. Thanks Roger and happy birthday!

This post brought to you ! and ( )

This blog is turning into a regular politcal forum

2008-10-29T13:54:00.000-07:00

Mass. Senator Wilkerson was recently caught accepting bribes and other unethical activities.

This is a photo of her allegedly stuffing money that didn't rightfully belong to her into her bra.

I don't know about you, but if I am going to stuff items into my bra, I reach in from the top.

Voting is your civic duty.

2008-10-27T21:32:00.000-07:00

So Roxy and I are having a contest to see who's pumpkin is cuter. She insists my pumpkin is cuter and I insist hers is. So in today's democratic atmosphere, we concluded the only way to true resolution was a public vote.

Option 1: cute cat thingy

Option 2: ghost

We used patterns and technically I carved both of them, but her hand rested on top of mine while we did hers. In an effort for true bipartisan results, I'm not disclosing who's pumpkin is who's.

But I still say hers is cuter.

So please vote, it is your public duty.

I'm practically Stephenie Myer

2008-10-27T09:31:00.000-07:00

Last night I dreamt about what I should write about. It wasn't a sparkling dude or anything, but still, isn't that a sign that I should have lots of money?

I dreamt some kids labelling everything in my house in braille with puff paint. It wasn't like a braille vision or anything like that, but braille has been on my mind a lot lately. Why? I don't know.

But have you noticed the strange places they put braille?

It's one thing to have blind folk driving around using ATMs and reading braille street signs, but a braille tattoo. I think that's going just a little too far.

I've mentioned I'm judgemental, right?

2008-10-22T19:55:00.000-07:00

So this guy came in for service the other day in his new convertible. You'll never guess what he was blasting on his cd player.

The Top Gun soundtrack.

Is it just me, or does that say one of two things? a) mid-life crisis, or b) small parts syndrome? Maybe both?

Thriller

2008-10-21T07:56:00.001-07:00

So my friend Lisa dances for Odyssey Dance in Salt Lake and right now they are doing a Halloween show.

It. Is. Awesome!

If you're looking for a great date night or even a fun night out with the girls I HIGHLY recommend it. But I left my littles at home, it can be a wee bit scary for them. (Did I just have a Scottish accent?)

Lisa is a featured dancer on

Wed Oct 22nd
Sat Oct 25th (eve)
Fri Oct 31
Sat nov 1 (eve)

I personally believe you'll enjoy the show more on one of those nights. Last year we went on Halloween and it was a great atmosphere. We went again last Sat. night and loooved it again. And now I have a total girl crush on Lisa. That girl can move.

I'm not big into plugging things, but this is worth it (and no Lisa, did not ask me to say any of this).

I feel like a train car

2008-10-17T10:34:00.000-07:00

Tagged again. 7 Things.

7 things I can do

1. Change oil on my car

2. Make great oatmeal/choc. chip cookies

3. Whine

4. Get something I started done

5. Walk away from something not worth finishing

6. Chicken out from starting something I'm scared of

7. Out-eat anyone I know when it comes to ice cream

7 things I cannot do

1. Tame lions

2. Artificially inseminate a cow

3. Hike up Mt. Everest

4. Change the oil in your car

5. Fly

6. Stop a bullet

7. Dance

7 Things that attract me to men

1. Humor

2. Smiles

3. Money

4. Money

5. Money

6. Money

7. Money

7 Things I say most often

1. I'm

2. not

3. in

4. the

5. mood

6. tonight

7. honey

7 Celebrity Admiration's

1. Brad and Angie

2. Kristina P

3. Papa Smurf

4. Huck Finn

5. Friends, not the real actors, the characters

6. *Mary*

7. Myself of course

7 Favorite foods

1. Foods

2. That

3. I

4. Can

5. Chew

6. With

7. Braces

7 People I tag

1. Suzanne

2. Roger

3. Christine

4. Amanda

5. Katie

6. April

7. Blaine

Psych! said the psychic.

2008-10-16T07:55:00.000-07:00

So let me start by saying that I don't really believe in psychics. I think they are just really good at asking leading questions and getting enough info to give generic answers to those who are willing to read into them for details. Did that make sense?

Anyway, there is this one, Karen the Southern Psychic, that I've heard on the radio show that is on while I drive home. She's pretty good and I wanted to give her a try. And as miracles would have it, I got through the phone lines.

It started off badly, I had to tell her my freakin' name. Seriously!!! She didn't already know it was me that would be the next caller.

Then I had to tell her why I was calling. I tried to be super vague so she couldn't figure out 'what I wanted to hear', and strangely she wasn't getting a very clear reading. I told her I was wondering about my Dad. Any real psychic would know he's been dead for 13 years, but nope, not Karen. So I caved and told her he pulled his own plug and asked where he's at now. She said there is a lot of confusion and anger surrounding his death. You don't say, confusion and anger with a suicide? Then she guessed at few other things and wasn't getting anywhere so she changed the subject. To money.

Now she really had me convinced, she was able to tell that finances are a concern for me and my husband. GET OUT! How did she know, in an economy like this one where everyone is so prosperous. Wow.

Anyway, I blew some smoke up her... well, what I mean is, I lied and told her I thought she was great.

What is your opinion on psychics?

I finally get it!!!

2008-10-15T14:16:00.001-07:00

Bella wanted Edward to turn her into a vampire so she would quit getting her period.

How has blogging changed my life?

2008-10-14T07:59:00.000-07:00

*This morning, as I was taking 9 minute snoozes for about an hour, I was sort of dreaming. The format of my dream was posts and comments.

*On Saturday I went to lunch with a group of strangers off the Internet who all know stuff about each other. Weird right? It was way out of my comfort zone so I talked Blaine into going with me, which wasn't that hard, cuz what guy doesn't want to have lunch with a dozen chicks from the web? We ended up needing to bring the kids with us, which I was really worried about since I think it was kind of a no kids thing. Luckily, our kids are pretty awesome and I don't think they disturbed anyone too much. And like the rest of us, they really looooved Mary. The best part of having my whole family there while I met strange Internet people, was it was like having my comfort blanket with me. And after we ate, I pretended Roxy needed to go potty, but really I just needed to go clean out my braces. I knew she'd come in useful someday.

*When I was a kid I wanted an imaginary friend but wasn't really creative enough to make one up. Now I have like 30 imaginary friends. It's awesome!

The walmart lady rebuked me

2008-10-12T15:28:00.000-07:00

Listen, I'm a good girl. But today I went to Wal-mart. As I was leaving the old lady greeter person was friendly as usual.

"Thank you for shopping at Wal-mart on this fine Sabbath Day."

LOOK, I'M SORRY YOU HAVE TO WORK TODAY, BUT WHEN A GIRL NEEDS CAFFEINE AND CHOCOLATE, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT DAY OF THE WEEK IT IS. I yelled back at her in my head.

I've made a Presidential candiate decision!

2008-10-10T14:22:00.000-07:00

That's right, David Palmer.

Think about it, he's already got great experience and his moral values are unbeatable. Under pressure he can quickly make a good decision. He survived several assassination attempts, won several battles against terrorists, faced nuclear bomb threats, fought the oil companies and even suffered personally from a deadly terrorist virus. As if that's not enough, his own administration had him overthrown, only to realize later that he had done no wrong, of course, and reinstated him. And all that took him what, three days?

Plus, don't even get me started on his wife, anyone who could deal with that beast could easily rule the free world.

Too bad he was shot in the neck and killed.

Just look how good he looks at a press conference.

I'm a grouchy bitch today

2008-10-09T14:31:00.001-07:00

Yesterday when I went home from work early I stopped by Wal-hell and bought myself chocolate pudding and chocolate ice cream.
Today every little thing is pissing me off BIG time.
Wonder what that could mean...

Finally the care it needs.

2008-10-09T09:17:00.000-07:00

My coworker finally came back into town, so yesterday I was able to leave work early. I headed straight for my bed, (right after getting some double choc. brownie ice cream) and gave it the attention and comfort it needed.

I really have nothing else to blog about though, I've been super lame about coming up with my own ideas. But upon Suzanne's recommendation, I have spent hours reading jurlpower, and love it, especially her stages of sex. So, if you've come over here looking for entertainment, let me redirect you to jurl.

Seperation Anxiety

2008-10-07T09:30:00.000-07:00

My bed has massive attachment issues. This morning it really didn't want me to go. And quite honestly, it broke my heart to leave it.

Guest Blog Winner!

2008-10-06T07:30:00.000-07:00

Introducing Suzanne, she's finally pulling some of her blog weight. And with a funny story too.By the way, do you like the way the title makes it sound like she won a contest, rather than me begging her to post for me?

i should give a tiny bit of background. kimba is the nickname of our professional photographer friend. she had already rescheduled our family pictures 3 times and dragged it out almost 2 months before this typical day at the nelson's. calder calls it getting my hair "painted" when i get it highlighted. for those who don't know me, my daughter was born with a birth defect. one of the symptoms was that she had several cysts on her face when she was born. she had them removed when she was 6 months old. she is a doll. she has several tiny scars though. we had one of the best plastic surgeons in utah do the surgery. i wrote this reply to a friend's message to me. she was wondering how my week had been. enjoy. (i've also included some pictures so that you know i'm not making this up)

"the week has been fine. i got my hair "painted"blond again on monday morning for our family pictures that night. unfortunately, it was so cold and windy that kimba decided that we shouldn't do it. i commented to her that it had been a miracle that calder and hillary were still bruise and scratch free and i hoped it would last another week so we could reschedule.

defeated in family pictures, i decided to tackle calder's potty issue that night instead. when i noticed him hiding under the table to poop, i whisked him to the bathroom and took his diaper from him. after 35 minutes and a dozen books, he said that he didn't need to go anymore. unrelenting, i told him that he couldn't have his diaper back. he was to go bottomless until he could poop in the toilet. i told him that his other option was to go outside like winney (our dog). ten minutes later, he asked me to take him out. that same bitter cold and wind that cancelled the family pictures was still happening. calder squatted, but kept saying that he was too cold to poop. honestly, i never thought he would even consider doing it outside. thankfully the weather kept him from it.

so we go inside and i start making dinner. i notice him crouched under the table and i ask what he's doing and he says that he is pooping, so i tell him to run to the potty. unfortunately, he didn't make it.

his comment, "mom, my plop didn't go in the plopper, it went on the wood floor."

nice... i scream for cameron (who refused to have any part in my bizarre potty training technique, other than taking a picture of us standing in the freezing, windy yard) to corral the children and dog in another room while i disinfect. 20 minutes later they begin to trickle back in, calder first. hillary is bawling and cameron is holding her head. he moves his hand to tell me that she fell down in the hall and i see blood everywhere. i calmly say, "dear, there's blood. take her in the bathroom." so, there is this perfect specimen of puncture wound on her forehead. i can see that it will need to be stitched and since that's not my bag i declare that we must go to the er. funny thing is hillary is wearing nothing but a long-sleeved onesie covered in blood and strawberry juice. calder, who for some reason has now donned big boy underwear, is in a t-shirt and tennis shoes with no socks. cameron is still in his dry clean only duds from work. i put a pull-up over calder's unders and then get him dressed. hillary couldn't be salvaged because i didn't want to put anything over her head and upset the wound. i'm sure we looked pretty good strolling into the alta view er.

hillary got the liquid stitches that is like superglue. she will have a scar, but she's down with that since she already has 10 others on her face! anyway,the glue will flake off in 10-12 days. i promised to come back in 48 hours and keep track of signs of infection.

we go home.
calder goes to bed.
hillary cries but goes to sleep soon enough.
2:30am she has a fever of 103+. she won't take medicine.
anal suppository.
cry, cry, cry.
we all fall asleep from exhaustion.
i get up at 6 to check her.
she's burning hot and crying again. i find the info from the er regarding infection.
no redness, swelling, oozing. only high fever. decide not to go back until the 48hours happen. spend the entire day trying to comfort, cool and hydrate hillary, while loading barney videos into the vcr for calder.
wendy's for dinner.
wed am, after another sleepless night and more fever, i take her back to alta view er.they say that she looks great, but she has an ear infection! bless it.

anyway, now i have a kid who poops on my floor and one scarface who can't possibly be photographed this month. what do you think the chances are that once hillary heals, i can keep them bruise and scratch free for another 2 weeks while i wait to get our picture appointment? and, by then my hair roots will have to be painted again! the week has been good. thanks for asking."

Ah Suzanne, you're hilarious, and have a beautiful family. Thanks so much for doing this for me. You've always been there for me when I need you. Now seriously, get your own blog, so I can read it.

Christine and Roger, I still need posts from each of you.

Accepting Applications

2008-10-02T13:31:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been pretty busy at work which leaves me little time to blog. It also drains all the blogging creativity out of me. So I decided I need someone to write me a really funny guest post. I know that's not the way it normally works, but that just makes it even better.
So, if you want to write something really funny for me, let me know. It's not enough that I expect you to entertain me on your blog, now I want you to entertain me on my blog too. I know, right.

*If you don't have a blog, you should definitely nominate yourself, cuz lets face it, you're not pulling your blog weight. (Suzanne)

I showered at 3 am

2008-09-30T15:44:00.000-07:00

because I woke up drenched in someone else's pee.

Sexy pinewood derby car and the zoo.

2008-09-28T20:49:00.000-07:00

I work in a car shop and for one of our team meetings we are having a pinewood derby race. I figure I have little chance of winning against mechanics, so I decided to make it fun.

Behold, my idea of a pinewood derby car:

I would never even wear that shoe in real life, but it's kinda sexy-cute, don't ya think?

This weekend we went to the zoo. Good times.

Blaine looks so funny, I would never be caught doing that.

Ten minutes later he persuaded me.

This is my best attempt to be a sexy spider. I think my pasty white legs steal the show.

Mama chick and her egglings.

White alligator. I guess there are only about 10 left in the world and they are sure to go extinct.

Ben had to stop every 15 mins to consultant with the zoo map, it was really cute.

Flashback to Disneyland May 2007, Ben consulting the Disney map:

I guess he's big into planning. I can't wait until he's old enough to plan our household, Roxy can cook and Blaine and I can just sit back.

Is it an internet virus?

2008-09-25T10:21:00.000-07:00

Recently two of my blog friends, Kristina and Lorrie, had the flu and now I have it. But I've never even met them.

Lazy, lazy

2008-09-24T12:39:00.000-07:00

Today I have a really bad headache, so rather than write my own post, I'd rather link you to something much, much funnier than something I could write.

Today, I will not break the law.

2008-09-23T07:01:00.000-07:00

My ex-brother-in-law is in jail, for reasons I won't go into here, let's just say we're glad he's there. And hope he stays for a long, long time. Which is why I showed up for his sentencing hearing.

I was fascinated watching all the inmates file into the courtroom, they have them sit in the jury box, which just adds to my reasons for not wanting to be a juror. They wear jail clothes, but not usually jumpsuits, just orange scrubs. Their hands and feet are shackled and they shuffle to their chairs. I was thinking about what they miss about freedom, what they hate about being locked up. What will make them change their lives and never come back?

Do they miss having cigarettes, hair brushes, snacks whenever they feel like it? What would I hate most about jail, that would motivate me from never going back, or being there in the first place?

As I was my ex-bro-in-law shuffled his way before the judge, his orange, scrub-like prison pants were slowly inching their way down, down, down. And when his crack was about to be revealed, my answer was revealed to me. Jail issued underwear. Imagine wearing the same underoos as all the other inmates, you just throw them in the laundry hamper and get another pair back, who wore them last?

So, today and tomorrow and all tomorrows after I will keep the law so I never have to wear those things.

I don't have any quirks

2008-09-21T11:25:00.000-07:00

Loralee tagged me.

The Rules:
Link the Person who Tagged you-
Mention rules on your blog-
Tell about 6 quirks of yours-
Tag 6 fellow bloggers to do the same-
Leave a comment to let them know.

#1: I love hand sanitizer. I wish all restaurants had it at all the tables.

#2: I constantly pick at my skin. I can't stand the thought of there being anything under my skin, so I pick and cause more problems.

#3: Since I got braces, I carry around a little compact with me. Last night when I was out with my mom and sisters they told me I look in it a lot. They accused me of being vain, really I'm just self-conscious.

#4: I'm scared of spiders in the house, but they don't bother me outside.

#5: I don't eat meat, but I encourage my kids too.

#6: I go out of my way to avoid it, but when I do it, I like it.

Now I tag Robyn, Lisa, Kristy, Jenn, Kim, and Sara.

What a crappy way to start a Saturday

2008-09-20T16:19:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up around 8:30 in the morning. That wasn't crappy, that was AWESOME since I usually get up at 6. When I lazily turned on the TV with my breakfast, TBS was playing I AM SAM.
Let me just say I think that movie is brilliant, the actors are the most amazing ever, and it's directed super cool. But no one should ever, ever watch that movie. I've had a cry-hangover headache all day now.

No Dignity Flashback Friday again.

2008-09-18T12:26:00.002-07:00

Have you ever pooped your pants at work? I have. But strangely, I'm not really that embarrassed about it. I mean it wasn't my fault or anything. I didn't even know I was going to pass gas, much less pass poop. It just happened. And it sucked.
And now everyone knows. Aren't you glad there are no pictures along with this flashback?

How to get married.

2008-09-18T12:26:00.001-07:00

There is a guy at my work who is single and really wants to get married. He's a great guy, successful, religious, hard working, owns his own house, and it's nice. Why single you ask? I have a theory.

No garbage can in the guest bathroom. Seriously. So he has a date over and she's got her period. Awkward. Now she has choose between putting her plastic applicator in her pocket or flushing it. She is NEVER coming back.

Are you with me girls?

Psychedelic Sexy

2008-09-17T09:28:00.000-07:00

The other night we went to Classic Skating with Ben and Roxy's school. Sounds like fun right?
Ben had a good time, for that matter so did Roxy.

You just can't tell by looking at her.

But no one had as much fun as the adolescent boys.
My bra was glowing through my shirt under the black light.
AWESOME! I couldn't have felt like a bigger creep.

Sorry Robyn,

2008-09-16T12:32:00.001-07:00

I'm too tired to blog today.

No Really

2008-09-14T21:58:00.000-07:00

Ben lost his second front tooth last night. I love the way it looks with that big hole right up front. (He can still whistle)
Roxy told me she doesn't believe the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny are real. After all, she could feel the zipper on the back of the bunny costume on the guy at the mall. She went on and on about how they aren't real, the only one who is real is Santa.
I asked her if she could keep a secret and told her she was right. The Easter bunny and tooth fairy aren't real.

I am them.

Mom, don't be silly. You are not. Your hand isn't even feather soft to reach under my pillow. I insisted- she insisted. So I threw in that I'm Santa as well.
She definitely doesn't believe me.

p.s. Roxy tried to play a joke on Ben by wrapping a marble up in paper and tape and putting it under his pillow. The part that makes me laugh the most about this is that she did it all on her own.

I had to pick something to blog about

2008-09-12T08:40:00.000-07:00

I've noticed people doing flashback Friday on their blogs, I think I might give it a try - no dignity style. When I was in grade four, I had an extremely embarrassing moment. Which I will now share with you because I don't have anything to blog about today. So why not humiliate myself.

I was sitting on the bus and I really needed to pick my nose, it was so uncomfortable. I didn't have any tissue, so I slouched down in my seat and picked it. It was huge.

Then I ate it.

That's when I heard Shane say "GROSS". And I died.

I know, I know, that story is disgusting and by the time your in fourth grade you should definitely know better. But don't worry, I learned my lesson and now I only pick and eat when I'm sure no one is looking.

*I really hope I don't have to say just kidding for you to know I don't pick and eat ever.

Remember

2008-09-11T11:41:00.000-07:00

I'll never forget that day and the weeks that followed. The pain.
God bless the mothers, daughter, sons, fathers, parents, neighbors and friends.
God bless America.

Please, hold your applause, take your seats...

2008-09-10T13:37:00.000-07:00

Today one of my biggest blogging dreams came true.

When I first discovered the blogosphere, I came across Sue. I instantly fell in blog-love with her, which is not gay, in case you weren't sure. She made me laugh, she made me cry (not literally, but but blog tears, which are just as powerful), and I related to so many of her posts. I was an instant blog stalker. She made me that way and now I've branched out to stalk other blogs as well. But it all started with Sue.

And today she commented on MY blog.

She didn't just comment, she wants me to submit a post to a book she is doing. AAACCCKKKK!
I am not at that blogging level.

All my blog life I've wanted a relationship with her, and she moved so fast. The pressure. I just want to take it slow. But this book she is doing is for such a great cause and Sue, who I blog-love, asked me to. So I must. But I am deeply afraid of the rejection.

Anway, you should check out the book, the proceeds go to help out NieNie and her family.

Animals love me.

2008-09-09T07:28:00.000-07:00

For instance, when I was a kid, growing up on a farm, a cow was once so torn between eating and being near me, it decided to stand on my foot while it ate. And it would not move.

Also, snakes lived inside the walls of our basement as a kid. We didn't know until after we moved and the next people who lived there tore down the sheet rock while remodeling. My dad thought he saw a snake in the family room a couple of times, but we all thought he was crazy. Turns out he was, but right about the snake nonetheless.
There were like 200 of them. Seriously.

One day while I was walking to school in grade 12, a bird picked me to poop on. Yup, right on the top of the head.

I used to have a little toy poodle puppy that had so much love and respect for me, that when she slept with me one night, she went to the opposite side of the bed from me to poop. On the bed.

Maybe it was revenge for the stupid purse I used to make her hide in at restaurants.

Or maybe it was because I didn't take her to Yoga.

Yeah, I saw this on TV the other night. What a racket. They get us to spend money on dogs in the stupidest ways.

Google gave me these pics, but I was a little let down that I couldn't find better ones. Some of the poses I saw on TV were kinda disgusting. I'm sure you can imagine.

I'm OK

2008-09-08T07:31:00.000-07:00

Whoa, that was rough, but I'm doing much better now. Thanks.

What are your top priorities?
My main one is not getting hit/bumped in the mouth.

THIS SUCKS!!!!

2008-09-04T08:17:00.000-07:00

I know a lot of you have had braces, you could have said something. Sure you said it hurts. But you could have told me it HURTS. Seriously. And I swear the brackets have gotten bigger since they've been on my teeth. I feel like my mouth takes up my whole face.
And I begged my husband for this.

Plus, all I ever do is think about myself now. All day long, me, me, me. I'm having a pity party, wanna come. It's about a year and a half long, so it will be hard for you to miss it. The only people who might hate my braces more than me are the people who spend time around me.

Did I mention this sucks?

I'll show that Dr. Oz

2008-09-02T21:02:00.000-07:00

Dr. Oz may say my real age is 38, but I showed him.
Between my acne and new braces, I'm not a day over 14. Unless you look near my eyes then the wrinkles show themselves.

Seriously, wrinkles and acne at the same time. Real funny.

I got pink rubber bands on the bottom just for fun and cuz their not really visible. And when I smile normally you can barely see anything but the wire, don't you think.

Things that make you go hmmm

2008-08-31T11:41:00.000-07:00

Roxy loves to bite her dad, and she bites him hard. I don't know why he puts up with it, he even thinks it's funny. So today she says to me, "I'll never bite you, but I'll always bite dad. He tastes good."

I naturally repied, "I taste good too."

"No, you taste like cottage cheese."

I guess I'll start that diet now.

I dream of mountain goats?

2008-08-29T06:12:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a dream that I was standing across the street from Mount Timpanogos. I could see mountain goats on the side of the mountain. They were huge and when they ran or kicked rocks came flying down and splattered all over the road. It was really weird.

I was trying to figure what the meaning of the dream was when I suddenly remembered this picture my lil sis Robyn drew for me many, many, many years ago. In her picture those are little rock climbers, but in my dream that is about how big the goats looked in relation to the mountain.

So please, if you have any ideas about what my dream means, I'm interested. Also, do you think my subconscious used this picture to create the dream?

I've been saving this post for when I really, truly have nothing else to blog about.

2008-08-27T13:27:00.000-07:00

Well, I don't really want to write this but I've got nothin' else to say.

We all know Edward from the movie is NOT hot. So I asked around, (to two other people), who's your Edward?
My SNL says Wentworth Miller or some guy from Big Brother.

My sister Robyn says Christian Bale. But that's who she chooses for everything, she's soooo predictable. I always choose Brad Pitt, (circa Meet Joe Black) but when you're on team Pitt, predictable, and stereotypical, is ok.

So who's your Edward. I know you might not want to admit to reading the books, but I know you did. Comment anoyomously if you want, I'm not smart enough to trace it back to you.

Is there such a thing as too much patience?

2008-08-26T07:07:00.000-07:00

I submit that there is.

How else could this be explained:

Too much time on your hands?

Or this?

Who sleeps in a bed made out of toothpicks anyways?

But the ultimate need for patience:

Presenting....

2008-08-22T08:29:00.001-07:00

The Mullet shirt.

Business in the collar.

Party in the sleeves.

Nothing a little orange sherbet can't fix

2008-08-21T21:07:00.000-07:00

At bedtime I called the kids upstairs by shouting down to them, "calling my loyal subjects, this is the queen, I wish you to come upstairs." And like the good subjects they are, they came.

But as Roxy said our family prayer, her loyality came into question.

She stated some things we're grateful for, asked for a couple of blessings, then proceeded to say she does not respect her mom as queen, but that she does love her mom. And closed the prayer.

About 20 mins and one bowl of sherbet later I gained her respect as queen.

Yesterday I lost something special to me

2008-08-20T19:51:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was Benji's first day of second grade. I had to go to work before he left, but I asked his Dad to take a picture of him.

I swear this is the kid I kissed good-bye in the morning:

And this is who went to school in my little boys place.

I literally gasped out loud when I saw the picture(s). I guess my innocent, angel faced boy has been replaced by this boy. I really, really enjoyed little Benji, but so far I'm just as in love with big Ben.

According to the commentator...

2008-08-20T08:13:00.000-07:00

that guy on the gymnastic high bar should have stayed on (and not fallen face first onto the mat).

No kiddin'.

(This wasn't him, just an image from google)

I keep hearing commentators say the most obvious/dumb things.

Tell me some of the funny things you've heard. (if you want to, I didn't mean to be pushy)

She'll be fine

2008-08-19T07:44:00.000-07:00

I've been having some anxiety about sending Roxy to school. I think she can handle school just fine, I worry about the bus. She seems so young to be getting herself to and from school alone. So in an effort to help prepare her, well me, last night I was helping her memorize my cell phone number.

Then came quiz time.

I asked her if she was lost and someone wanted to know her phone number so they could help her find her mom, what would she say?

"I'd tell them to back off". I'm not good enough with words to describe the way she said it, but believe me the stranger would back off.

Upon further discussion she realized I had said they were trying to help her, not hurt her. In which case she did know the right answer.

The farthest I've been from my couch

2008-08-17T21:34:00.000-07:00

To celebrate my birthday I wanted to hike to the summit of Mt. Timpanogos. I think it was an attempt to feel younger than I am.

It did not work, I think I nearly died 30+ times.

This is my brother Roger, the family Sherpa. Nobody in our family hikes Timp without him.

I was really glad he came, we had a lot of fun laughing (mostly at me) and joking around. The thing is, he acted like he wasn't tired at all, and that we were going to slow for him, like he could sprint up the mountain or something. I know we were slower than him, but I think he was faking that it wasn't even a little hard for him. I mean seriously.

Happy birthday to me.

No I wasn't this prepared, we borrowed this sign from someone else having a birthday hike.

I know it's basically wicked of me, but I was using other peoples challenging qualities to motivate myself to keep on keeping on. That first dude was so fat, the picture is actually very flattering and the second dude was like 75, and he was running. There were tons of old people kickin' my butt up the mountain. So I couldn't quit.

This was on the way up. I'm sure the views were awesome the whole way but pretty much all I saw was the trail right in front of my feet.

Things I learned about myself from this hike:

1. Pride will get me to the top

2. I look for and enjoy people worse off than me

3. My hands can swell four times their actual size and not explode

4. I'm a LOT better at down than up

5. I have a really pretty whining voice

We hiked on Sat. 16th, but my birthday was really Sunday. The kids treated me to some Epsom salt and breakfast in bed. If you've never used Epsom salt, it is great for soaking in when you have sore muscles. I was so sore I could barely hold the bag of salt up.

My family came over and we had a little party for me and Benji, since his birthday was Tues. It was alot of fun, my sister Robyn came over early and gave me a make over. She colored my hair and gave me some make up, she even showed me how to put it on the right way.

Yes, my cake does say Brace Face on it and the white things are braces. Why?

All my life I have wanted braces and that's what Blaine got me for my birthday. Hooray! Not only will I finally have straight teeth in a few years, I'll lose weight. Right now 3/4 of my diet is on the do not eat list. Thanks for hooking it all up Blaine.

Pretty good times overall, now I'm ready for the weekend and it's already over.

I really want to know

2008-08-14T13:41:00.001-07:00

If a man has an affair he has a mistress.
If a women has an affair what does she have? A mister?

My mister is the candy machine at work.

That was kind of a bad idea

2008-08-14T09:53:00.000-07:00

So all this body hair talk got me thinking. What about hairy arms on girls. I know some girls shave/wax their arms. (Hi April & Robyn) I personally don't. My arm hair isn't blond or anything, but to me it's not excessive.

This morning a lady with excessive arm hair came into my work and I was truly grossed out. But that was based on my standard of excessive.

I want to know what your standard is.

Yeah....I wouldn't recommend googling hairy arms, apparently to the Internet 'arms' is a vague term which applies to various body parts.

Cute for a fat girl

2008-08-13T09:08:00.000-07:00

Today I slept in, and in my rush to work I forgot to put back on my wedding ring (which I take off at night to make things more exciting with my hubby, you know, so we can pretend we haven't been married for 800 years, just kidding, my fingers swell in my sleep). I also forgot to shave my legs, not so much forgot as eliminated the chore due to time management. But I did wear shorts. Good thinking.

When I called and explained all this to hubby he said it's ok that I forgot my ring cuz I didn't shave my legs.

Nice.

38!!!!!

2008-08-11T09:46:00.000-07:00

Next Sunday will be my birthday and I'm turning 33. But according to Dr. Oz and his little buddy guy here I'm already 38. Yikes. Apparently I need to eat better and exercise.

You might be wondering why I'm telling you this. I have this dilution, that if you all know my dirty little BMI secret, I'll be embarrassed enough to do something about it. So my goal is to be at least 36 by Christmas. I'll let you know how it goes.

I want to think these guys just don't know what they're doing, but Oprah introduced us. I try to do everything Oprah tells me to which has gotten considerably harder since I don't really watch her show more that once/twice a month anymore. Damn job. Workin' everyday sucks and the stress is making me old.

Awe, Respect, and Lots of Questions

2008-08-07T11:37:00.000-07:00

So I was watching something like Discovery Channel and saw a documentary on these conjoined twins Abby and Brittany. It was the most fascinating thing I've ever seen. They are amazing, each of them control one side of the body and they can work together in a way that would make any ant colony proud. I have so much respect for them, nothing stops them, they play sports, type- each of them controlling a hand, and even drive.

This is how they share the body.

Of course there is the questions like do they both have the urge to go potty, what if one wants to run, sleep, do whatever and the other doesn't.

And then there is more personal questions like what if one falls in love, what if they both do but with different people? Abby and Brittany think they might like to have kids and the organs seem to be in place for that. Say they both marry different guys, I mean they have different spirits/souls so shouldn't there be two guys? And one hubby gets them preggers, is only that girl the mom, or are they both the mom? Aaaaah, you could go on forever.
I don't know, it boggles my mind that Heavenly Father even allows this type of body to happen.

But let me be clear, I think these girls are absolutely amazing. I (for once) am not trying to mock anything about this situation, it's just fascinating on so many levels.

Uh oh

2008-08-06T07:19:00.001-07:00

True Story:

"I'm out of my morning pills", Roxy dramatically said while laying pathetically in mommas bed.

Yes, these are her morning pills.

In other news...

Dogs catch yawns too.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26045097/?GT1=43001

Preschool

2008-08-05T14:42:00.000-07:00

If you're looking for a preschool in the Springville area I HIGHLY recommend the one Roxy has been going to. She has some openings for fall. Email me if you want her info. mrsdicky@hotmail.com