I had to pick something to blog about

I've noticed people doing flashback Friday on their blogs, I think I might give it a try - no dignity style. When I was in grade four, I had an extremely embarrassing moment. Which I will now share with you because I don't have anything to blog about today. So why not humiliate myself.

I was sitting on the bus and I really needed to pick my nose, it was so uncomfortable. I didn't have any tissue, so I slouched down in my seat and picked it. It was huge.

Then I ate it.

That's when I heard Shane say "GROSS". And I died.

I know, I know, that story is disgusting and by the time your in fourth grade you should definitely know better. But don't worry, I learned my lesson and now I only pick and eat when I'm sure no one is looking.

*I really hope I don't have to say just kidding for you to know I don't pick and eat ever.

Remember

I'll never forget that day and the weeks that followed. The pain.
God bless the mothers, daughter, sons, fathers, parents, neighbors and friends.
God bless America.

Please, hold your applause, take your seats...

Today one of my biggest blogging dreams came true.

When I first discovered the blogosphere, I came across Sue. I instantly fell in blog-love with her, which is not gay, in case you weren't sure. She made me laugh, she made me cry (not literally, but but blog tears, which are just as powerful), and I related to so many of her posts. I was an instant blog stalker. She made me that way and now I've branched out to stalk other blogs as well. But it all started with Sue.

And today she commented on MY blog.

She didn't just comment, she wants me to submit a post to a book she is doing. AAACCCKKKK!
I am not at that blogging level.

All my blog life I've wanted a relationship with her, and she moved so fast. The pressure. I just want to take it slow. But this book she is doing is for such a great cause and Sue, who I blog-love, asked me to. So I must. But I am deeply afraid of the rejection.

Anway, you should check out the book, the proceeds go to help out NieNie and her family.

Animals love me.

For instance, when I was a kid, growing up on a farm, a cow was once so torn between eating and being near me, it decided to stand on my foot while it ate. And it would not move.


Also, snakes lived inside the walls of our basement as a kid. We didn't know until after we moved and the next people who lived there tore down the sheet rock while remodeling. My dad thought he saw a snake in the family room a couple of times, but we all thought he was crazy. Turns out he was, but right about the snake nonetheless.
There were like 200 of them. Seriously.

One day while I was walking to school in grade 12, a bird picked me to poop on. Yup, right on the top of the head.


I used to have a little toy poodle puppy that had so much love and respect for me, that when she slept with me one night, she went to the opposite side of the bed from me to poop. On the bed.

Maybe it was revenge for the stupid purse I used to make her hide in at restaurants.

Or maybe it was because I didn't take her to Yoga.





Yeah, I saw this on TV the other night. What a racket. They get us to spend money on dogs in the stupidest ways.




Google gave me these pics, but I was a little let down that I couldn't find better ones. Some of the poses I saw on TV were kinda disgusting. I'm sure you can imagine.

I'm OK

Whoa, that was rough, but I'm doing much better now. Thanks.


What are your top priorities?
My main one is not getting hit/bumped in the mouth.

THIS SUCKS!!!!

I know a lot of you have had braces, you could have said something. Sure you said it hurts. But you could have told me it HURTS. Seriously. And I swear the brackets have gotten bigger since they've been on my teeth. I feel like my mouth takes up my whole face.
And I begged my husband for this.

Plus, all I ever do is think about myself now. All day long, me, me, me. I'm having a pity party, wanna come. It's about a year and a half long, so it will be hard for you to miss it. The only people who might hate my braces more than me are the people who spend time around me.

Did I mention this sucks?

I'll show that Dr. Oz

Dr. Oz may say my real age is 38, but I showed him.
Between my acne and new braces, I'm not a day over 14. Unless you look near my eyes then the wrinkles show themselves.

Seriously, wrinkles and acne at the same time. Real funny.



I got pink rubber bands on the bottom just for fun and cuz their not really visible. And when I smile normally you can barely see anything but the wire, don't you think.