Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Animals love me.

For instance, when I was a kid, growing up on a farm, a cow was once so torn between eating and being near me, it decided to stand on my foot while it ate. And it would not move.


Also, snakes lived inside the walls of our basement as a kid. We didn't know until after we moved and the next people who lived there tore down the sheet rock while remodeling. My dad thought he saw a snake in the family room a couple of times, but we all thought he was crazy. Turns out he was, but right about the snake nonetheless.
There were like 200 of them. Seriously.

One day while I was walking to school in grade 12, a bird picked me to poop on. Yup, right on the top of the head.


I used to have a little toy poodle puppy that had so much love and respect for me, that when she slept with me one night, she went to the opposite side of the bed from me to poop. On the bed.

Maybe it was revenge for the stupid purse I used to make her hide in at restaurants.

Or maybe it was because I didn't take her to Yoga.





Yeah, I saw this on TV the other night. What a racket. They get us to spend money on dogs in the stupidest ways.




Google gave me these pics, but I was a little let down that I couldn't find better ones. Some of the poses I saw on TV were kinda disgusting. I'm sure you can imagine.

9 comments:

Adam and Kristina said...

Oh my goodness. That's hilarious. I'm going to have to show my animal loving friend.

And the snake thing made me want to throw up.

We had a cockroach problem once, and we got home, after vacation, and turned on the light, and about a thousand scattered. It was about 11 PM, but we called an exterminator right then and there.

Just so said...

Bahaha! I'm so showing this to my hubby! He's a Yogin and I'm sure his mind will be blown.

ALF said...

I have had my head pooped on. Once a goat tried to eat my mom's hair so she punched it in the face.

I cannot imagine trying to do dog yoga with my 2.

ALF said...

I have had my head pooped on. Once a goat tried to eat my mom's hair so she punched it in the face.

I cannot imagine trying to do dog yoga with my 2.

The Morty's said...

LOL I wish cows would stand by me.... than I would feel like I was with my own..... awww... I make no sense.

Doggie Yoga..... what will they think of next

Sue said...

OK, TJ, seriously, you're submitting something, right? RIGHT?!!

*MARY* said...

GUFFAW! You're funny and very beautiful.

Holdinator said...

I'm pretty sure most dogs would rather be chasing a tennis ball than doing any sort of Yoga (translated: humiliating doggy torture).

Daisy said...

Doggy Yoga? Hmm ... I SOOOOOOO want to make fun of this; however, I have to sadly admit that if I saw an infomercial for it I MAY ... just MAY ... actually, in that sick and twisted infomercial way, consider it for my dogs.

Oh I can't believe I just admitted that!

Heck is for people that don't believe in gosh