Sunday, August 31, 2008

Things that make you go hmmm

Roxy loves to bite her dad, and she bites him hard. I don't know why he puts up with it, he even thinks it's funny. So today she says to me, "I'll never bite you, but I'll always bite dad. He tastes good."

I naturally repied, "I taste good too."

"No, you taste like cottage cheese."

I guess I'll start that diet now.

Friday, August 29, 2008

I dream of mountain goats?

Last night I had a dream that I was standing across the street from Mount Timpanogos. I could see mountain goats on the side of the mountain. They were huge and when they ran or kicked rocks came flying down and splattered all over the road. It was really weird.

I was trying to figure what the meaning of the dream was when I suddenly remembered this picture my lil sis Robyn drew for me many, many, many years ago. In her picture those are little rock climbers, but in my dream that is about how big the goats looked in relation to the mountain.

So please, if you have any ideas about what my dream means, I'm interested. Also, do you think my subconscious used this picture to create the dream?

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I've been saving this post for when I really, truly have nothing else to blog about.

Well, I don't really want to write this but I've got nothin' else to say.

We all know Edward from the movie is NOT hot. So I asked around, (to two other people), who's your Edward?
My SNL says Wentworth Miller or some guy from Big Brother.

My sister Robyn says Christian Bale. But that's who she chooses for everything, she's soooo predictable. I always choose Brad Pitt, (circa Meet Joe Black) but when you're on team Pitt, predictable, and stereotypical, is ok.

So who's your Edward. I know you might not want to admit to reading the books, but I know you did. Comment anoyomously if you want, I'm not smart enough to trace it back to you.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Is there such a thing as too much patience?

I submit that there is.

How else could this be explained:

Too much time on your hands?

Or this?

Who sleeps in a bed made out of toothpicks anyways?

But the ultimate need for patience:

Friday, August 22, 2008


The Mullet shirt.

Business in the collar.

Party in the sleeves.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Nothing a little orange sherbet can't fix

At bedtime I called the kids upstairs by shouting down to them, "calling my loyal subjects, this is the queen, I wish you to come upstairs." And like the good subjects they are, they came.

But as Roxy said our family prayer, her loyality came into question.

She stated some things we're grateful for, asked for a couple of blessings, then proceeded to say she does not respect her mom as queen, but that she does love her mom. And closed the prayer.

About 20 mins and one bowl of sherbet later I gained her respect as queen.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Yesterday I lost something special to me

Yesterday was Benji's first day of second grade. I had to go to work before he left, but I asked his Dad to take a picture of him.

I swear this is the kid I kissed good-bye in the morning:

And this is who went to school in my little boys place.

I literally gasped out loud when I saw the picture(s). I guess my innocent, angel faced boy has been replaced by this boy. I really, really enjoyed little Benji, but so far I'm just as in love with big Ben.

According to the commentator...

that guy on the gymnastic high bar should have stayed on (and not fallen face first onto the mat).
No kiddin'.

(This wasn't him, just an image from google)

I keep hearing commentators say the most obvious/dumb things.

Tell me some of the funny things you've heard. (if you want to, I didn't mean to be pushy)

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

She'll be fine

I've been having some anxiety about sending Roxy to school. I think she can handle school just fine, I worry about the bus. She seems so young to be getting herself to and from school alone. So in an effort to help prepare her, well me, last night I was helping her memorize my cell phone number.

Then came quiz time.

I asked her if she was lost and someone wanted to know her phone number so they could help her find her mom, what would she say?

"I'd tell them to back off". I'm not good enough with words to describe the way she said it, but believe me the stranger would back off.

Upon further discussion she realized I had said they were trying to help her, not hurt her. In which case she did know the right answer.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

The farthest I've been from my couch

To celebrate my birthday I wanted to hike to the summit of Mt. Timpanogos. I think it was an attempt to feel younger than I am.

It did not work, I think I nearly died 30+ times.

This is my brother Roger, the family Sherpa. Nobody in our family hikes Timp without him.

I was really glad he came, we had a lot of fun laughing (mostly at me) and joking around. The thing is, he acted like he wasn't tired at all, and that we were going to slow for him, like he could sprint up the mountain or something. I know we were slower than him, but I think he was faking that it wasn't even a little hard for him. I mean seriously.

Happy birthday to me.

No I wasn't this prepared, we borrowed this sign from someone else having a birthday hike.

I know it's basically wicked of me, but I was using other peoples challenging qualities to motivate myself to keep on keeping on. That first dude was so fat, the picture is actually very flattering and the second dude was like 75, and he was running. There were tons of old people kickin' my butt up the mountain. So I couldn't quit.

This was on the way up. I'm sure the views were awesome the whole way but pretty much all I saw was the trail right in front of my feet.

Things I learned about myself from this hike:

1. Pride will get me to the top

2. I look for and enjoy people worse off than me

3. My hands can swell four times their actual size and not explode

4. I'm a LOT better at down than up

5. I have a really pretty whining voice

We hiked on Sat. 16th, but my birthday was really Sunday. The kids treated me to some Epsom salt and breakfast in bed. If you've never used Epsom salt, it is great for soaking in when you have sore muscles. I was so sore I could barely hold the bag of salt up.

My family came over and we had a little party for me and Benji, since his birthday was Tues. It was alot of fun, my sister Robyn came over early and gave me a make over. She colored my hair and gave me some make up, she even showed me how to put it on the right way.

Yes, my cake does say Brace Face on it and the white things are braces. Why?

All my life I have wanted braces and that's what Blaine got me for my birthday. Hooray! Not only will I finally have straight teeth in a few years, I'll lose weight. Right now 3/4 of my diet is on the do not eat list. Thanks for hooking it all up Blaine.

Pretty good times overall, now I'm ready for the weekend and it's already over.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

I really want to know

If a man has an affair he has a mistress.
If a women has an affair what does she have? A mister?

My mister is the candy machine at work.

That was kind of a bad idea

So all this body hair talk got me thinking. What about hairy arms on girls. I know some girls shave/wax their arms. (Hi April & Robyn) I personally don't. My arm hair isn't blond or anything, but to me it's not excessive.

This morning a lady with excessive arm hair came into my work and I was truly grossed out. But that was based on my standard of excessive.

I want to know what your standard is.

Yeah....I wouldn't recommend googling hairy arms, apparently to the Internet 'arms' is a vague term which applies to various body parts.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Cute for a fat girl

Today I slept in, and in my rush to work I forgot to put back on my wedding ring (which I take off at night to make things more exciting with my hubby, you know, so we can pretend we haven't been married for 800 years, just kidding, my fingers swell in my sleep). I also forgot to shave my legs, not so much forgot as eliminated the chore due to time management. But I did wear shorts. Good thinking.

When I called and explained all this to hubby he said it's ok that I forgot my ring cuz I didn't shave my legs.


Monday, August 11, 2008


Next Sunday will be my birthday and I'm turning 33. But according to Dr. Oz and his little buddy guy here I'm already 38. Yikes. Apparently I need to eat better and exercise.

You might be wondering why I'm telling you this. I have this dilution, that if you all know my dirty little BMI secret, I'll be embarrassed enough to do something about it. So my goal is to be at least 36 by Christmas. I'll let you know how it goes.

I want to think these guys just don't know what they're doing, but Oprah introduced us. I try to do everything Oprah tells me to which has gotten considerably harder since I don't really watch her show more that once/twice a month anymore. Damn job. Workin' everyday sucks and the stress is making me old.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Awe, Respect, and Lots of Questions

So I was watching something like Discovery Channel and saw a documentary on these conjoined twins Abby and Brittany. It was the most fascinating thing I've ever seen. They are amazing, each of them control one side of the body and they can work together in a way that would make any ant colony proud. I have so much respect for them, nothing stops them, they play sports, type- each of them controlling a hand, and even drive.

This is how they share the body.

Of course there is the questions like do they both have the urge to go potty, what if one wants to run, sleep, do whatever and the other doesn't.

And then there is more personal questions like what if one falls in love, what if they both do but with different people? Abby and Brittany think they might like to have kids and the organs seem to be in place for that. Say they both marry different guys, I mean they have different spirits/souls so shouldn't there be two guys? And one hubby gets them preggers, is only that girl the mom, or are they both the mom? Aaaaah, you could go on forever.
I don't know, it boggles my mind that Heavenly Father even allows this type of body to happen.

But let me be clear, I think these girls are absolutely amazing. I (for once) am not trying to mock anything about this situation, it's just fascinating on so many levels.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Uh oh

True Story:

"I'm out of my morning pills", Roxy dramatically said while laying pathetically in mommas bed.

Yes, these are her morning pills.
In other news...

Tuesday, August 5, 2008


If you're looking for a preschool in the Springville area I HIGHLY recommend the one Roxy has been going to. She has some openings for fall. Email me if you want her info.

Convenient Idlealist

This is a picture of Rock Canyon, there is a narrow little trail that used to be a road 3000 or so years ago when they last mined in this canyon. At one time in my life, I had this little daydream about people sharing and living without materialism.

I thought what if one car was driving down the canyon and another was driving up and there is no place to turn around, what happens? Who backs up the way they came from? Wouldn't it be wonderful if they just switched cars and both backed up. That way they could both get to where they were going. Who cares what each of them was driving, if one was better than the other. Everyone got where they needed. Wouldn't that be a wonderful way to live?

Of course at the time I was driving a K car that was a stick shift and still had a bench front seat.

This sweet pic kinda explains my convenient idealism, huh?

I would never trade now.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Anyone Else?

Man, I've got nothing to say but I have to post something cuz I'm tired of that headstone being the first thing I see when I turn on my computer.

I'm embarrassed to say I've already finished Breaking Dawn. I DID NOT wait in line for it. I wasn't even going to buy it, but on Sat. evening I was at Walmart, it was only $14, and my curiosity got the better of me. So the thing is, I like the series as much as the next rational person. I'm not having an emotional affair with Edward or anything, it's just a fun easy story.

Until now.

Ok, I know I'm reading a vampire book so it's not actually real but seriously. (If you don't want to know what happens stop reading.) I know Edward is a hard dude and everything but don't you need blood to, you know, get a boner? And then the whole preggo thing, it was a bit much. But the icing on the cake was when Jacob imprinted. Come on!

Does anyone else get the schlitz from drinking Dr. Pepper/Mr. Pibb?

Friday, August 1, 2008

Not dead yet

but my name sure is on a headstone.

13 years ago today my Dad died. (My grandma didn't ask before she had our names put on the back of his tombstone; super creepy) I didn't have a very good relationship with my dad. You could even call it a really bad one. Nonetheless, I'm always very irritable, tired, and down on his deathday anniversary.

To make matters worse, I had my first miscarriage on the 5 year anniversary. And I wasn't one of those ladies who deals with it well. I sorta freaked.

So today I'm ok, but a bit distracted.

But at least a bunch of freaks are lining up at bookstores everywhere to get Breaking Dawn. It cheers me up to laugh at them for a bit.
Get me right, I read the series, I even enjoyed it. Good mindless entertainment. Not quality at all and Bella sucks. She's so lame and brainless.
Still, fun to read; super lame to line up for.

Heck is for people that don't believe in gosh