Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Today, I will not break the law.

My ex-brother-in-law is in jail, for reasons I won't go into here, let's just say we're glad he's there. And hope he stays for a long, long time. Which is why I showed up for his sentencing hearing.

I was fascinated watching all the inmates file into the courtroom, they have them sit in the jury box, which just adds to my reasons for not wanting to be a juror. They wear jail clothes, but not usually jumpsuits, just orange scrubs. Their hands and feet are shackled and they shuffle to their chairs. I was thinking about what they miss about freedom, what they hate about being locked up. What will make them change their lives and never come back?

Do they miss having cigarettes, hair brushes, snacks whenever they feel like it? What would I hate most about jail, that would motivate me from never going back, or being there in the first place?

As I was my ex-bro-in-law shuffled his way before the judge, his orange, scrub-like prison pants were slowly inching their way down, down, down. And when his crack was about to be revealed, my answer was revealed to me. Jail issued underwear. Imagine wearing the same underoos as all the other inmates, you just throw them in the laundry hamper and get another pair back, who wore them last?

So, today and tomorrow and all tomorrows after I will keep the law so I never have to wear those things.

10 comments:

Lauri said...

Once again you freaking crack me up. I never would have thought of something like that, but now that I think about it I am pretty sure I would rather go without underoos. YUCK!!!

Holdinator said...

Oh wow. That motivates me too.

Ryan.Robyn said...

sick

Kristina P. said...

I work with teenage delinquents all day long, and they talk about the underwear in detention, a lot. Doesn't seem to weigh on them a whole lot, because they always end up going back.

Rychelle said...

thanks!
now i've got a mental image to keep me from breakin' the law.
it helps. ;)

Christine Peterson said...

good he deserves someone else's shitty underwear. but like you said, it gives us the motivation to never break the law.

So said...

Too bad more people aren't grossed out by the undies deal. Our prisons would be much less crowded if they were.

Christa said...

So, I guess the old advice from mom that you should always wear clean underwear just in case something happens, doesn't really apply here. Your own clean underwear will be going bye-bye.

gray confetti said...

In Arizona Sheriff Joe makes the male inmates wear pink underwear. I bet that shows off the skids really well.

hello, my name is amber marie. said...

lmao...
this is the third time i've read this post + i swear it keeps getting funnier.

Heck is for people that don't believe in gosh