Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Who's lookin'

Yesterday I did something very foolish, something I know is very bad for me. But it was for the sake of vanity.

But everyone knows anything is OK for vanity.

I went tanning.

And yes, I was naked. (I didn't plan ahead and bring a swim suit, sorry, I know it's gross to put your bare parts on the bed, just tell yourself they clean them between each use)

I got just a teensy bit burned on my stomach. And by teensy bit I do mean I look like I faced nuclear testing.

Have you ever heard fat burns faster. Yeah, that's true.

Anyway, as a form of cheap entertainment, I was letting the kids press on my stomach and see the white fingerprints that were left behind. I know, best mom ever, right? It didn't take long for Ben to realize in a modest swimsuit your stomach does not get burned, so what was I wearing, a bikini. Note: to my kids bikini = Satan.

Naturally, I couldn't tell them no, I was not wearing a bikini, I was naked, so I just brushed it off saying, it doesn't matter what I was wearing I was all alone in a little room. No one could see me. (And I really, really hope that's true, you know what you hear about those places.)

Roxy immediately replied, "Yeah, that's true, no one could see you....EXCEPT Jesus and Santa.

14 comments:

Christa said...

She's right. Jesus and Santa are always watching. Just ask my kids. I tell them that everyday to keep them in line.

rychelle said...

i guess you should have told them it was a modest bikini. that way Jesus would have approved. ;)

Daybreaking Dickersons said...

I knew that you and Satan were best friends. I can just see you running on the beach, holding hands, with you in your skanky bikini and Satan in his Speedo. You pretty much disgust me.

Kimbooly said...

Ooh, that was a tricky one! Your kids are so smart, and then so darling!

It's so tricky when our kids get old enough to know what they consider right and wrong, and then they pay SUCH close attention to what we are doing.

I use the word "hate" fairly often, like "I hate dealing with the insurance company!" But Nathan, my 4 yr old, picked it up and started saying it, a LOT. Once I told him he can't say it any more, he has to say "don't like," he catches me constantly. He also corrects babysitters and other mothers when I'm chatting with them and they use the word "hate" or "stupid." He'll call out "hate is a bad word!" or "stupid is a bad word!"

Anyway, I think having them push on your tummy is funny. When I had really gross pregnant legs that held tons of water (they honestly looked like tree trunks, no ankle even remotely visable), it was amusing to push my finger in and see how long the indent stayed. I was pregnant with my first, or I totally would have let kids do it with me.

Kristina P. said...

All I have to say, is that I hope they really clean out those beds.

Ryan.Robyn said...

why would you ever wear a swim suit while you are tanning? that is the point...no line. oh, and kels worked at one, they don't clean them that well...but at least you will be hot and tan! ;)

SO said...

Bahaha! Jesus and Santa they are constantly on the lookout in those tanning parlors.

Knapp Time said...

Ha ha Roxy is so funny. Who wears a swimsuite at those places. That is the point.... no lines. I used to clean them myself before I got in with little wet wipes that they had in there. But yea, still gross.

Lisa said...

lol......yeah, I go naked when I go. Germs aren't that bad for you. =)

Christine Peterson said...

helloooooo I tan all the time! My parents had a salon! hahaha, we cleaned them very well, but that doesn't mean the next person is guaranteed to do so as well. I love the Jesus/Santa comment. Oh and your sisters are right. Who wears a swimsuit??? Maybe underwear....

Christine Peterson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jessica G. said...

And we all know how Santa is a big peeping tom...

Lorrie Veasey said...

My friend worked in a tanning salon in LA and collected celebrity sweat. For reals, he would wipe down the tanning beds and put the paper towel into a plastic baggie and label it with the name--like Sylvester Stallone. He made it onto Letterman, but it was pretty much downhill from there. I should probably look him up on Facebook.

Anyhoo: get sprayed next time TJ; all the color, none of the cancer.

Jami Broadbent said...

Darn that Jesus. Always watching.

Heck is for people that don't believe in gosh